


Mommy

by DiYunho



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Joker fandom, Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Children of Characters, Comfort/Angst, DC comics - Freeform, Denial of Feelings, Domestic Fluff, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Feelings, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Joker - Freeform, Love, Post-Suicide Squad (2016), Suicide Squad, The Joker - Freeform, The Joker Jared Leto, The Joker fanfic, The Joker/you - Freeform, The joker/reader - Freeform, The suicide Squad - Freeform, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 09:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15360942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiYunho/pseuds/DiYunho
Summary: It was a well known fact The Joker’s girlfriend left him with four young children and disappeared. It was also known that his ex stepped up and took care of them even if she didn’t have to. The King of Gotham might have lost his woman, but he never lost his Queen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You can also follow me on Tumblr. You will find me under the same blog name: DiYunho.

You had no idea why The Joker kept on getting her pregnant; she definitely didn’t like to take care of their children nor had any interest in them. But it was none of your business so you kept your mouth shut. J wanted you to continue to work for him and you had no objections: he trusted his ex and you loved what you were doing so it was fine.

They were always fighting and his girlfriend disappeared for days and sometimes even weeks without a phone call or text. The Joker would ask you to babysit Kase while he searched for Anya; the baby was adorable and you didn’t mind.

Even when she was home, you still had to keep an eye on the little one because that woman would simply neglect to change or feed him. J would snap and they would get in such heated arguments you were surprised they didn’t kill each other yet. If The King of Gotham was the one realizing his kid was lacking the proper nurture, you clearly don’t have too much going on in the motherhood department.

It broke your heart when you would go over to the penthouse and find Kase crying in his crib, hungry and really needing his diaper changed. J was gone with business and she would wonder off God knows where as soon as you stepped inside.

“Oh great, you’re here!” Anya would roll her eyes and sneaked out, leaving without any other explanation.

“Hey buddy, don’t cry. I’m here now,” you used to comfort him and the baby would stop crying as soon as he was changed and fed. Kase sure got a lot of kisses and snuggles since you felt sorry for the poor tiny soul. I mean, what fault did an innocent child had in any of it? None. Absolutely none.

One month after giving birth to the twin boys, Anya was nowhere to be found: three small beings left at their absent mother’s mercy. This time, J didn’t have to ask you to get involved: you offered and he didn’t object. It was exhausting to tend to a toddler and two newborns but you had all the supplies you needed plus help whenever required.

The Joker searched for his woman like crazy and finally found her in Los Angeles and brought her home again. At that point, you were basically staying at the penthouse, raising kids that weren’t yours yet you couldn’t help it. You were attached to them and had the feeling they would end up dead without somebody to care for them.

“Why is she here, hm?” you would hear Anya shout in the middle of the night, the argument escalating with alarming velocity. “Are you fucking her again?”

“I’m not fucking her !!!” he would yell back and it was true. “My ex-girlfriend is here taking care of our children because you don’t !!”

“Why don’t you take care of them? I didn’t get pregnant on my own now, did I?!”

You were sleeping upstairs in the same bedroom with the twins and had to close the door in order not to hear anything anymore. Thank goodness Zane and Aiden were actually pretty good babies, didn’t wake up very often and noise didn’t seem to bother them.

But it pissed you off she was such an ungrateful person! Anya had no idea how many dates you canceled in order to be a surrogate mother to her kids. Your boyfriend lost his patience and dumped you simply because you couldn’t abandon your self-imposed maternal duties.

You and Frost were in charge of J’s security, but you found yourself in charge of his offsprings also. And the bitch was getting on your nerves with her irresponsible and entitled behavior.

When she got pregnant the third time, you got mad. Another kid ??!! Because, you know, things were so great with the first 3!!

Mia was born on a Sunday and Anya vanished two weeks after having her. You were the one that find the note on the kitchen table: “Don’t try to find me, I’m not coming back. Keep the kids.”

The Joker had a terrible fit but didn’t pursuit the idea of going after her, which surprised you in a way. Who knows what was going on in his mind; you didn’t bring up the sensitive subject and J didn’t elaborate more than a few sentences about it.

The Clown Prince of Crime definitely wasn’t the epitome of fatherhood, but he made sure the babies had everything they needed. This desire was mostly coming only from his strong sense of possessiveness: he just knew that they belonged to him and that was it. Besides that, J was completely lost and unable to show anything but very basic emotions, if you could even call them that.

******************

When you are away, the little ones miss you. You just came back after a 5 days trip to New York so the kids follow you around the penthouse like ducklings, wanting attention: a four year old and two year old twins. You are holding the seven month old Mia in your arms and the boys clench to your long dress, stumbling into each other, but not wanting to let go.

“Moooommy,” Kase whines, jealous his sister is getting kisses.

“Mommy, kiss !” Zane pulls on your gown and you have to stop and get down on your knees.

“Who wants kisses?” you smile, letting Mia crawl on the carpet while the boys pucker their lips, impatiently waiting. You snatch all of them in your arms and randomly start kissing them in a frenzy while they giggle, ticklish.

The Joker mutters something on the couch, watching TV. You have an idea about what he might be: he probably made a comment again about the children calling you mommy. You told them to stop calling you that, but they continue to do it. After all, you are the only woman constantly around, taking care of them.

“J ?”

“What?” he bitterly answers.

“Did you even hold them while I was gone?!” you sigh, having a feeling he didn’t since they are so clingy.

“I was busy,” he grumbles, scratching his Batsy tattoo.

“You don’t seem busy now,” you get up, taking Kase’s hand and leading him to his father.”Here,” you help the young boy sit in J’s lap and wrap his arms around his son.

The King of Gotham is not very excited about your move; still he takes a deep breath and asks:

“What’s going on, kid?”

Kase’s eyes get big; he just couldn’t wait for his parent to show some interest in him. The boy starts talking up a storm, something about Legos and his toys. The Joker tries to understand every single word but some are mispronounced and he kind of gets the point, but not entirely.

“U-hum,” he nods his head and the boy rambles on, excited, playing with J’s gold chains.“A-ha, “ he agrees again, intrigued.

“OK daddy?” the question pops up and The Clown Prince of Crime takes the easy way out:

“Ummm….yes?…”

“Yaaayyy, daddy!” and J gets a kiss on the left cheek, then Kase jumps off his lap, running around the living room, screaming and making airplane noises.

“Y/N, what did I just agree to?” a very confused Joker needs to know.

“More toys, especially Legos,” you bring to his knowledge, urging the twins to follow you and you place them on J’s knees.

“Oh, great, because they don’t have enough!” This time he holds them while they bounce their legs, enthusiastic, bickering about who should get more of their father.

“Aiden, don’t slap your brother! How many times did I tell you not to hit each other? If you do that again, you’ll be in trouble!!! Don’t make me repeat myself! J ?? Are you just going to sit there and not react?!!” you scold, picking up Mia since she crawled back to your feet again.

“I think we’re in trouble,” The Joker whispers, rolling his eyes. “Stop fighting I guess,” he enunciates without any trace of enthusiasm. The kids chuckle, pushing one another and cuddling to J’s chest in the process.

“Com’ere, chubby,” the little girl gets a few kisses on her rosy cheeks and she babbles, yawning. “Are you sleepy? I guess it’s time for your nap, hm? Hey J, did the boys eat?”

“Yeah,” he answers, bored and you go to the kitchen, prepare some formula and bring the Princess back. You signal the twins to go play and you place Mia in The Joker’s arms, handing him the bottle.

“Here, feed your daughter.”

He scoffs, not thrilled but does it anyway.

“Aiden, don’t put that in your mouth!” you rush to take the shoe from him and he yells, running to his brothers, taking refuge with everyone under J’s purple coat. They all hide, whispering and thinking that if they can’t see you, you can’t see them either.

“Brats!” you mumble, letting them be for the moment and open the pantry in the hallway. “J ?” you get annoyed, “why do we still have a bunch of baby food with carrots and peas? You know Mia doesn’t like it, I told you to throw it away!”

“I forgot, woman! Give me a break !” he huffs, quite immersed into his current task. The little girl’s eyes wonder off, searching for you and stops sucking from the bottle until she sees you, then begins eating again.

“Moommyyyy,” whining is heard from under the purple coat,” Zane bit me!”

“Don’t bite your brother!” you raise your voice and there is fighting going on and more complaints.

“Mooommyyy, Aiden pinched me!”

Muffled laughter and more quarrel.

“Don’t pinch your brother!” you admonish, taking Mia away from The Joker since she’s fussing and refuses the bottle. “Come on, nap time for everybody!”

The boys emerge from under the jacket, tossing it on the floor and trampling on it, while their father gasps:

“That’s my favorite coat!!!!”

“Moommmyyyy, ice cream?” Zane follows you and you don’t have time to reply because J grouchily interrupts:

“Quit calling her mommy!! She’s not your mother!”

It feels like a slap in the face.

You abruptly stop and the boys bump into you. You turn towards The Joker, your blood boiling with indignation.

“I didn’t teach them to call me that and you know it ! I told them to stop and they won’t ! What do you want me to do, hm?! Glue their lips so they won’t talk?! I know I’m not their mother, you don’t have to remind me!”

J has some elaborated comeback but he doesn’t get the chance to continue because you literally burst out.

“Do you think it’s easy for me to take care of children you had with another woman?! Do you remember what you told me when we were together and I brought up the subject of having kids? You told me you don’t want any!!!! And then you met Anya and you had four !! Which means that you just didn’t want to have children WITH ME in particular ! Do you know how much that hurt?! But I stepped on my pride and raised them for the last four years because I realize they have absolutely no blame in this circus! You don’t like it they call me mommy??! Then bring back that trash-excuse-of-a-girlfriend and make her take care of them!!!!”

The boys shove themselves into you, startled and Mia whimpers, uneasy. You start walking again and J is speechless.

“What the hell was that, Y/N?!” he shouts and you can’t let it go so you extend your tirade. He’s really getting on your nerves.

“In all these years, did you ever thank me for everything I do?! Not even once!!!! And don’t think I’m not aware you sabotage my dates! I know you are saying things to the guys I like, don’t try to deny it!!!!” and you stump up the stairs, get everyone in the twins’ bedroom and slam the door shut.

J takes deep breaths, staring at the ceiling, talking to himself and nothing sounds nice. A few minutes pass and he decides to go after you and barges into the bedroom without knocking. Mia is almost asleep on top of you and the boys are gathered around your body, ready to doze off. They pout, frowning at their father: all they know is daddy said something that upset mommy. You truly look like Mother Hen with little chicks to shelter from the world.

“Building yourself an army with my kids, hm?” J sucks on his teeth and the boys give him mean glares. You reach to kiss the top of their heads, ignoring his remark. “I have a date tonight so I need you to babysit. I hate it when I have to bring others to watch them.”

“Fine, I don’t care. I missed them anyway,” you grumble, getting comfortable; might as well take a nap also.

“OK, done deal,” The Joker lingers in the doorway, debating on a simple idea that came to him while he was downstairs.

*****************

You enter the kitchen and notice the table full of boxes: Chinese food delivery from your favorite restaurant. J is already at the table, sitting on a chair and apparently waiting for you to show up.

“Don’t you look dashing,” you make an effort to start the conversation since you are still mad at him.

“I always look dashing,” he scoffs, pushing a chair towards you with his foot. “Sit!”

You hesitate and he insists:

“I said sit!”

Great, you will have to listen to him lecture you now. You do as asked, keeping your composure.

“It’s 8pm, aren’t you going?” you tap your fingers on the table, smelling the delicious food and it makes you hungry.

“As soon as the kids are tucked in and asleep,” he gives you a stupid reason, pretending to give a damn.

“They are asleep, just changed Mia and placed her in the crib.”

“Eat,” J leans over the table and gives you chopsticks. “I ordered your favorites,” and you seem a bit confused when he grabs a pair of chopsticks, opening a box and calmly begins to eat.

“Didn’t you say you have a date?” you bring it up, wanting him to disappear so you can relax and enjoy some quietness.

“I do,” he growls and your reaction is not a happy one when you realize what he means.

“Uggghhh,” you strain to contain your displeased attitude.

“Shut up and eat !” he kicks your chair and you drop the piece of sushi you took a bite from in your lap. “ You made me feel sorry for you since apparently you are not interesting enough to keep a man,” he smirks, pleased he can elaborate on his favorite subject.

“Yeah… right…” you stab your plate, poking a piece of fried calamari. “You’re the one chasing them away.”

“You have proof?”

“I know you are!”

“Ha! I don’t have to, Y/N. You’re just boring.”

You exhale, aggravated, changing the subject.

“Any news from The Queen?” 

Anya randomly calls him from time to time.

“She is no Queen !” J’s eyes suddenly lose their glow, his voice getting husky. “In order for a woman to be my Queen she has to earn my trust; you stopped being my girlfriend a long time ago, but you never stopped being The Queen of Gotham.”

The unexpected disclosure almost makes you choke. The Joker hears you sniffle and sees the tears rolling down your cheeks.

“You need a binky? We have plenty lying around.”

“N…no…” you barely chew on your food, not wanting to cry.

“Anya did call while you were in New York,” J admits and you lift your gaze, interested. ”She said she wants Mia. Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!” he sarcastically laughs, “Like I’m going to engage into a custody battle of some sorts with her? Our children don’t even legally exist ! You know what else she said?”

He’s getting worked up and you assume the worst.

“She said she wants Mia because she’s not mine! Can you believe that?!” he slams his fist on the table and it makes you anxious.

“What?… No way! Of course she’s yours,” you wipe your watery eyes, the new revelation making you alert again. “The children are all yours !”

You surely don’t like the new twist on this night and leave your chair, going around the table and cup his face, wishing to calm down the demons before they break free.

“Look at me,” and the blue eyes meet yours. “All four are yours. Don’t listen to her; you know how she lies and manipulates things!”

“Mommmyyyyy,” you hear from upstairs. “Moommyyyyy!”

“I think Zane had a nightmare again. I’ll be back,” you caress his hair for a few seconds then leave, insecurity already creeping up in his mind.

****************

The next day you are going out with Alex, one of J’s smugglers. He is picking you up at the penthouse and hangs out with The Joker in the living room, waiting for you to get ready.

“Alex?” J casually scrolls through his phone, smacking his lips.

“Sir?” the guy’s body stiffens, not knowing what to expect.

“If I hear that you upset Y/N in any way, besides the fact that she will break your neck first, I will PERSONALLY make sure your body is never found again. Do we understand each other?”

This is what J always tells to all the guys you date: his way of being protective and he genuinely means it.

“Y-yes sir,” Alex nervously gulps, praying you’ll hurry up so he doesn’t have to be around The Joker’s menacing presence anymore.

An hour into your date and his cell rings. He picks up.

“Hey J, how are the kids?”

Alex’s voice is heard in the background, cracking up about something.

“The kids are fine!” J snaps and hangs up.

How rude, you think, returning to your drink at the bar and partner.

Another hour and a half pass, you call him again.

“J, it’s me. How are the kids?”

“They’re fine woman; go back to your date! The guy is gonna dump you tomorrow and then you’ll blame me again!” and he hangs up.

Jesus, what’s wrong with him? you crack your neck and go back to the table at the restaurant.

Two more hours and another call. This time you don’t even get to say a word before J screams:

“They’re fine!!!!!!” and he hangs up.

Wow, so ungrateful, and you wave Alex to come over on the dance floor since you really want to have fun.

***************

As soon as you get back to the penthouse in the early morning, you go upstairs to check on the children. They are sleeping and you wonder where J went since he is not in his room. You search around and don’t have to go too far: he’s on the balcony. It’s snowing and the pale dawn makes Gotham sparkle under the heavy snowflakes.

“I’m back,” you announce and bundle up inside your coat; it’s chilly and windy. “Insomnia?” you address him, noticing the dark circles under his eyes. He stares at the city he owns, the tall buildings still lit. “Are you ok?” you touch his hands resting on the railing and they are as cold as ice.

“She’s not mine…” J utters, frozen after being outside for hours.

“Huh?” you get closer to him to hear better because his lips barely moved.

“Mia is not mine,” he digs in his coat’s pocket, giving you a few papers and you turn the pages, stunned: they contain paternity test results. It is a match for the boys but no match for the little Princess.

“When did you do this?” you inquire, still in disbelief.

“While you were gone, after she told me. I wanted to make sure and I got the results yesterday after you went on your date,” J sighs, a sharp ache clawing at his heart. “She’s not mine…what am I supposed to do with her now?”

You don’t like the question.

“What do you mean?”

“Mia is not my daughter. I obviously have no use for her; I don’t want her here,” The Joker’s poisonous comment gives you goosebumps.

“How can you say that?! She’s just an innocent baby! It’s not her fault!”  
“I don’t want her here!” he barks, lifting the collar of his furry coat.

“Well, I do!” you take action, scared of this new idea of his. “If you don’t want her, I’ll take her! She’s my little girl,” you start crying, hoping to change the outcome of his plans.

“None of the kids are yours!” he pushes you away and storms inside, leaving you petrified on the terrace.

***************

You couldn’t sleep for a second so you spent the last three hours organizing documents and ammo in the basement. You go up to the penthouse again, checking to see if the children are awake. The boys are still dreaming, but when you step inside Mia’s bedroom, her crib is empty and your hearts stops.

“Oh my God!” you immediately wake up from your sluggish state, frightened. “Love bug? Where are you?” and you sweep the room – of course she’s not there.

Your legs are getting shaky as you go downstairs, desperate to find her.

“Jaaayyy? Jaayy?” you call his name and surprisingly he answers from his office.

“Yes?”

“Where’s Mia?” you run around, panicking.

“I dropped her at the orphanage downtown, told you I don’t want her!” he snarls from beyond the cracked door and you grab your car keys in a hurry, scared to death. The Joker hears the elevator going down and comes out of the office, holding Mia in his arms.

“Where the hell did that crazy woman go?! It’s a blizzard out there!” J lifts her higher on his hip and she baby talks, smiling so innocently he feels awkward and since there is nobody around, he kisses her forehead repeatedly, squeezing her more to his chest. “Oh, shit, you think she went downtown?!” he asks for the little girl’s opinion like she understands him. “That crazy woman!” The Joker huffs, “She completely lost her mind!”

Mia wiggles in his arms, cooing and making cute sounds.

“I’m glad you agree,” J take his cell out of his pocket and dials your number but the phone goes off on the coffee table: you left it there and he can’t reach you. “Great!” he hums, dialing Frost’s number and his henchman picks up.

“Frost, we have to drive downtown.”

***************

It was very hard to drive on the stormy weather, but you made it to the orphanage and your heart stopped when you heard no child was abandoned there this morning. Did he leave her outside in the cold snow and someone took her?! You circle the huge building several times, bawling your eyes out because there is no trace of Mia. You even ask a few people brave enough to walk in the tempest but no one saw anything.

You don’t even know where to go; how could he do something like this? Discard such a sweet angel like an unwanted object when you made it clear you would take her. Where is she? Did she crawl somewhere and she is buried under the snow?!

All these thoughts race through your mind as you make your way around the building one more time, cold and tired but not giving up.

You hear heavy steps behind you and The Joker’s voice echoes in the white stillness:

“Are you looking for this?”

You turn around and there she is: he is holding Mia, the baby bundled up in her pink furry coat, wearing that adorable cat ears hat.

You almost trip and fall in the snow, but get to him and snatch her from his grip, distancing away as fast as you can.

“My little love bug,” you keep on kissing her, running towards your car, feverish and anxious while her tiny hands clutch to your jacket.

“What are you doing?” you hear The Joker approaching and you walk faster.

“I’m taking her away!” you shout, struggling to find your car keys and he pulls on your hood, slowing down your movement in order to catch up with you.

“Away? Where, to the penthouse?” J pants, not willing to chase after you again.

“No, away from you where she will be safe! “  
“What about the boys?” the problem arises and you become more nervous.

“You left her here in the cold?” you punch his shoulder, trying to pass him but he walks in front of you.

“Are you insane?! Of course I didn’t abandon her in the cold; she was in the office with me!” The Joker growls, pissed.

“You’re a terrible person! I was so worried!” you begin to cry again and Mia winces, uncomfortable in your tight hold.

“We have to go back; the storm is only getting worse. I am fucking freezing since I had to leave the penthouse in a hurry wearing just my purple coat and a shirt, looking for a crazy woman downtown Gotham in this snow storm!! Come on, we’ll send for your car later. Frost is parked across the street,” he gestures, pointing at the black van.

You hesitate and J needs to bring out the mommy in you.

“The boys are probably up by now, wondering how come you’re not there to make them pancakes. You want them to starve to death?!” he over exaggerates, flaring his arms around.

“No, of course not,“ you mumble, following his steps, convinced nobody else on the planet makes better breakfast than you.

“Then hurry up, your kids are waiting!” he has an outburst of clarity while you lean on him for balance, careful not to slip.

You didn’t even realize he referred to his children as yours too, but this is probably why your heart is beating faster. And all you can think right now is what else you can cook for breakfast.

That’s what mothers do.


	2. Chapter 2

“Do you feel sick?” you ask Aiden, carrying him in your arms around the kitchen. The boys just woke up and everyone is downstairs, waiting for breakfast.

“Yeeessss…” he whimpers and you press your lips against his forehead: best way to assess a fever.

“Just a little bit hotter than usual; I’ll give you some medicine after you eat and you’ll feel better, ok?”

“Ok,” the two year old wraps his arms around your neck tighter, sniffling.

“What kind of pancakes do you want, honey?” you lift him up higher in your arms, opening the huge pantry.

“Bu’belly,” Aiden points his little finger towards the shelves, spotting his favorite.

“Blueberry. Alright,” you grab the box and turn towards his twin. “Zane, what kind of pancakes do you want?”

The child places his chin on the table, yawning:

“Sto’belly mommy.”

“Strawberries it is. Kase honey?” you ask the oldest, interrupting the fun he’s having with Mia. The four year old is playing peek-a-boo with her and she giggles in the high chair, trying to touch him but he dodges her tiny hand, teasing the little Princess.

“Can I have apple, mommy?”

“Sure can,” you take out a third box, placing it by the stove. “Jaaayyyyyy!!!” you shout so he can hear you from the office. “What kind of pancakes do you want?”

“I don’t care!” you immediately hear his voice.

“I think we’re out of I don’t care pancakes,” you wink at the boys and they snicker, not understanding the joke but you’re being goofy so it’s funny enough. “Here you go,” you help Aiden sit at his place at the table; he doesn’t want to leave your arms but you have to cook. As a reward, you lean over and kiss his forehead, making these very long, strenuous sounds, prompting the rest of the boys to whine, wanting one also.

“Me too, mommy!”

“Me too!!”  
“A squeaky kiss for you,” you pucker your lips, granting their wish, “and one for you,” you smile, amazed on how good you got at this stuff.

The seven months old Mia is not moving anymore: her eyes are big, completely taken aback by the sounds you make.

“What is it, love bug? You want a squeaky kiss too?” and her forehead is being kissed also, followed by the silly sounds that prompt her to close her eyes really tight and scream with delight. You laugh, amused on how easy it is to entertain The Joker’s children sometimes. 

“Mia!” Aiden calls her name, followed by his siblings:

“Mia!Mia!”

“Mia!”

She screams even lauder, hyper from all the attention directed towards her while The Joker enters the kitchen, joining the kids at the table. A cup of coffee is already waiting for him and he sips from it, quietly watching you making pancakes, scrambled eggs and hash browns for everybody.

“Awww, the boys are mean to the only girl in the family,” you chuckle, amused at their silly games.

“There are two girls in the family,” J mutters in a low tone and it gets your attention.

“Did you say more coffee?” you inquire since the kids are noisy.

“Yeah,” he answers, upset that came out loud. “I want a refill.”

*************

“Sssttttt,” you signal J to be quiet when he enters Aiden’s bedroom with Mia. The little boy fell asleep cuddled to your body after he was given medicated syrup for his fever. You watched cartoons with him for a while and now you were getting ready to go downstairs. I guess not yet.

“She’s fussing,” he whispers, placing her by you. “I know she’s exhausted since she woke up early. Plus, I had to take her with me to look for you in the crazy snow storm.”

Strong gushes of wind shriek outside the windows, snowflakes dancing in the raging tempest. Despite the immaculate white covering the city, it’s an actually dark morning.

“I figured you know what to do,” he sits at the end of the bed, watching Mia yawn, tired and having her fingers already tangled in your long hair.

“Hey chubby,” you caress her tummy, starting to hum a song, this way she can relax.”You’re such a sweet baby,” you whisper, kissing the top of her head. Mia’s eyelids are getting heavy, comforted by your presence.

“She is cute…for not being my kid,” J snarls, struggling to keep it low, still irked by yesterday’s revelation.

“She is your daughter,” you lift your head from the pillows, frowning. “Who cares about what a paternity test says? Mia’s been here since she was born and you’re the only father she knows.”

The Joker decides not to reply: he actually did want to drop the little girl at the orphanage downtown but something inside him made it impossible to get rid of her.

You continue to softly caress Mia’s cheeks, then massage her tiny fingers and she closes her eyes, listening to the song you’re humming. She smacks her lips, probably believing she has the binky in her mouth when in fact she doesn’t; too tired to care.

“There we go,” you smile, covering her with the blanket.

The Joker doesn’t know if he should bring up something he’s been thinking about.

“You know what, Y/N?” J whispers, glaring at Aiden and pretending to be indifferent.

“What?” you turn your attention towards him.

“If one of these days you get pregnant and the guy dumps you because let’s be real, you can’t keep a man,” he pleasantly concludes and as always you try to protest.

“Yeah, because you say stuff to the guys I like and scare them away!!”  
“Where’s the proof, woman?! So many unfounded accusations and no evidence. I don’t say anything; your boring self is enough to make them run,” J chuckles and you have a perfect line prepared for him and no chance to say it out loud. “Stop interrupting and let me finish!” he bites his lower lip, reprising the earlier sentence: “If one of these days you get pregnant and the guy dumps you, your kid can call me dad.”

You certainly didn’t expect this outcome and The Joker takes the stunned expression on your face as disapproval:

“Are you trying to say that your kid is going to be better than my kids?! My children can call you mom but your kid can’t call me dad?!”

“I didn’t say that,” you smile, more than surprised by his words and he growls. “You really mean it ?”

He nods a yes, changing the course of conversation.

“They say the city will be on lockdown for almost two weeks due to the crazy weather. Trapped in here with you and the brats…Uggghhhhh…” he sighs, aggravated.

************

It actually took three weeks for the weather to get better and J was more than happy to set up some meetings as soon as Gotham came back to life. He sure loves his freedom and being stuck inside for days made him even grouchier than usual. He also asked you to reprise your role as the head of his security, a task you share with Frost when you have to ditch your maternal duties at The Joker’s request.

You are getting ready to go around the club to make sure everything is OK, when The Joker notices you stopped in the middle of the stairwell going down from the VIP room, gazing at something across the dance floor.

“What are you looking at?” J mutters to himself, wondering about what got your attention. He finally distinguishes the object of his ex-girlfriend’s interest: it’s Alex. “What are you doing?” he watches you head over towards the guy you went on a date with recently. “Are you gonna embarrass yourself?!” J huffs, grinding his teeth. “How stupid!” he sneers, bugged for some reason.

The Joker absolutely hates going on the floor, but it appears you’re about to do something dumb (in his opinion), so he leaves the comfort of the VIP lounge, rushing after you.

You can’t wait to get to your destination and say a quick “hi” to Alex when J pops by your side, grabbing your waist and forcefully pushing you towards the bar.

“You’re going the wrong direction, Y/N !” he grumbles in your ear, making sure you can’t escape his grip.

“Huh?!” you turn your head towards him, confused.

“Sit !!” he pushes you on a chair at the bar, snapping his fingers at the bartender. “Her favorite!” he demands and in a few seconds you find yourself in front of a glass half full with ice and whiskey.

The area cleared, people not wanting to be around whatever is going on between you two; it’s very rare to see The King of Gotham walking around the club anyway. Usually not a good thing and nobody is willing to find out the answer.

More henchmen outline the perimeter, making sure their boss is safe.

“What’s happening?” you require to find out, intrigued by his odd behavior.

“Are you going to make a fool of yourself?” J gets in your face, panting.

“What are you talking about?! I was just going over to say hello to Alex. I know I am on security duty, but it will be a fast thing, OK?” and you attempt to flee, not comprehending why he is worked up about.

The Joker’s fingers tighten on your wrist, preventing your escape.

“The Queen doesn’t go to anybody! If somebody wants to talk to the Queen, they come to her, understand? Don’t you have any pride?”

You scoff, having this vexed expression on your face he can’t stand.

“Drink!” he barks before you can reply.

“You know I don’t drink when I do this,” you push the glass away, retracting your hand from his. “You don’t want me to talk to Alex because you’re afraid he will tell me about your threats if I ask him?” you lash out, pissed he has the nerve to interfere with your personal life. You don’t do that to J, it’s none of your business. Not anymore. Hasn’t been for years.

He digs his nails in your arm, discontent with the small rebellion:

“Afraid?! Me?! Of what? Unjustified speculations? Stop accusing me! I don’t say anything to your guys!”

You slowly blink, having the dreadful feeling he’s repeatedly lying on the subject.

“I just know you say things to chase them away because you don’t want to see me happy !” you raise your voice and yank your hand away once more, creating a larger gap between the bodies.

J takes two deep breaths, not enough to calm down though.

“You wanna know what I say to them??!!” he unexpectedly shouts and you gasp:

“You do say stuff; I knew it!!!!”

He gives you a mean stare, disgusted he is actually admitting to the truth.

“I tell them that if they do anything to upset you, besides the fact that you are going to break their neck first, I will PERSONALLY make sure their body is never found again! This is what I say! Are you happy now since apparently I sabotage your happiness??!!!”  
His words left you speechless for a few moments because you do realize what it means coming from him: The Joker’s strange way of being protective.

“Is this…Is…is this what you say?” you stutter and the lack of an answer makes you quietly reach for the whiskey and take a sip from the shiny glass. It’s sort of needed at this point.

J gets up, not before having the one more surge of entitled wisdom:

“You’re the Queen of Gotham! As the King, am I not supposed to make sure nobody messes with you?”

You watch him stomping away, J’s path cleared by the perplexed bystanders not daring to add to his enraged behavior: he seems to be in a foul mood.

****************

The Joker is out of town and you decided to take the children outdoors, this way they can enjoy the snow. You own a small property close to Gotham that you like to use as their playground. There are 15 more men brought to watch the area, making sure the kids are well guarded and safe. J has enough enemies and you never know when someone would be willing to take revenge on his defenseless, innocent babies.

The sun is shining and it’s pretty warm, a nice and welcomed change from the gloomy weather that kept Gotham isolated for weeks.

The boys are playing a few feet away from you, building mounds of white snow, chasing one another, laughing and having fun. Mia is sitting on a blanket by you, too young to join her siblings. She rattles her toys, talking gibberish and crawling towards the end of the blanket, frustrated when you catch her.

“Not so fast little girl,” you snicker and lift her high in your arms, making her scream with joy. “Hey!!!” you suddenly see Kase slapping Zane and he starts to cry. “I told you not to hit eachother so many times! Com’ere!” you signal for both of them to approach and they come in front of you. Mia is placed back on the blanket while you take care of the problem.

Zane keeps on bawling and Kase looks guilty, his lower lip quivering, on the verge of crying himself since he got in trouble.

“Why did you slap him, hm?”

“He took my truck…” he complains, whining.

“You have to share; you’re the oldest and I need you to be nice to your brothers, ok?” you adjust his scarf. “Do you want to upset mommy?” you scold, wiping Zane’s tears, soothing the red mark on his face.

“Nooooooo…” Kase whimpers.

“Say you’re sorry,” you encourage the child and he hesitates but gets it out in the end.

“I’m sorry…” Kase mumbles.

“I want you two to hug and make peace, alright?” you push them together and your heart melts when they do it. “Now hold hands and go play. I don’t want you to fight, understand?” The kids return to their fun and your attention is redirected towards the small commotion going on at the fence surrounding the property. Your men are talking to a woman and after a few seconds you realize is Anya.

“What the hell is she doing here?” you sigh, gesturing for the guys to let her pass.

She stumbles in the snow, having a hard time walking with her high heeled boots.

“I didn’t think I need permission to see my babies,” she grins and you are already getting mad.

“Are you following us?” you cut her off, furrowing your eyebrows.

“Yeah, I am. I told J I want my daughter,” she bluntly requests, pointing her finger at Mia.

“Why?” you crack your neck, getting restless.

“She’s not his. I don’t want the boys; he can keep them.”

This woman has such a talent of making you want to step all over her.

“Mia is his daughter and she’s not going anywhere!” you hiss, the henchmen keeping a close eye on the apparent imminent altercation unfolding in front of their eyes.

“But she’s not his, why keep her? He is soooo stubborn, never got the message when I ran away. Why did he come looking for me?!” she crinkles her nose, puzzled.   
“Because he really liked you, you dumb bitch!” you blur out, irritated. ”He tolerated your crap and brought you back numerous times because he really liked you!”

“Are you jealous?” she winks, finding her remark to be hilarious.

“How can I be jealous on trash?” you grumble, bending over to collect the toy Mia just threw at your feet. The boys continue to play, blissfully unaware of who Anya is; they don’t know her so they are not paying any attention to the lady talking to their mommy.

She rolls her eyes, mocking:

“Y/N: the righteous ex-girlfriend with the helpless ex-boyfriend, needing a mother for his children,” she laughs and blood is rushing through your veins faster. “Between us girls, I am not sure why J thinks he’s a sex God or something. Frankly, I had better,“ she smirks, taking your silence on the topic as an temporary alliance between two parties that have nothing in common besides The Clown Prince of Crime.

“Shut the hell up and return to whatever sewer you crawled out from!!!” your anger takes over, barely containing yourself from tearing her to pieces. “His daughter stays where she belongs!”

“Well, if I can’t have Mia…” she pauses, suddenly changing her attitude to a hateful demeanor,”…he can’t have her either!” 

You have just a split second to notice the knife she is fast to take out from the pocket of her coat, nothing else to do but cover the tiny Princess with your body. The knife pierces your right shoulder, the blade exiting on the other side while gun shots resonate behind you, the henchmen doing their jobs of protecting the children and one of their own.

You hear the boys scream and you look towards them to see they are being taken away, which is a wise decision; they shouldn’t see such things anyway. You groan in pain, trying to soothe Mia that’s crying her eyes out, terrified and not understanding why you reject her when she reaches her arms for you.

“Don’t cry, honey, don’t cry,” you kneel in front of the bench, keeping her away from the blood gushing out of your wound and the sharp blade you’re impaled with: proof you managed to save her life.

You don’t need to look at Anya in order to know she’s dead.

“Y/N, are you OK?” you hear voices fading away and Jason lifts you up in his arms, running as fast as he can towards the cars.

“She’s bleeding too much!” he yells at the driver, carefully getting you in the van with the help of two other henchmen. He keeps you in his arms and the car starts moving, but he doesn’t understand what you’re saying.

“Hey, Y/N, you’ll be fine, the doctor will patch you up in no time, OK?” Jason brings his ear to your lips, struggling to understand what you keep on repeating.

“She’s…just… a baby… a …little…baby…” he distinguishes and your delirious mind finally shuts down, the blood loss and the fact that one of the main arteries was severed making you faint.

*************

“Mommy…Mommy…Are you sick?” Kase’s voice echoes inside the dream since you are still under the effects of anesthesia after the 7 hours surgery you were subjected to. You feel soft kisses on your face but can’t react.

“Mommy, wake up,” Aiden whimpers, stroking your hair.

“Mommy, I’m hungry,” Zane pouts, touching your nose with his.

“I told you not to come in here!” The Joker’s harsh tone makes them all jump off your bed, scared their father will punish them. “She needs to rest, alright? Come on, let’s get you boys out of here!” his temper goes down a notch since the kids seem overly startled.

It all goes quiet, then you sense your lips being kissed and it’s comforting.

“You’re a good mother,” J mutters before bringing himself to leave your side.

************

When you open your eyes, The Joker is there, excited you are awake at last.

“Jesus, woman, I was worried you’ll leave me with 4 brats and no help!” comes out of his mouth instead of a formal greeting. “Can you move your fingers?” J carefully watches and is relieved when he sees they move a bit. “That’s a good sign,” he caresses your bandaged shoulder, the whole hand being strapped in a sling, preventing movement and further damage. “I was afraid you won’t be able to use your hand anymore,” he admits, helping you up so you can sit up in bed.

“I…I rather not use my arm for the rest of my life if it means I can take care of 4 children instead of 3,” you tell him with teary eyes and The Joker wants to cheer you up for once the best way he knows how.

“I totally don’t want to be insensitive and less than a gentleman,” and he halts for a dramatic effect,” but you’ve been sweating in this bed for a day and a half and frankly, I think you need new clothes. Come on, let’s make you pretty before I get the kids in here,” J urges, helping you up. He begins to unbutton the nightgown you were dressed with after the surgery.

“I can do it myself,” you attempt to get rid of him, dizziness taking over.

“Don’t tell me you’re shy now!” The Joker ignores your request, continuing to undress you. “It’s been years, but I saw you naked before. No need to fuss!”

Shyness is not the reason you don’t want to be seen naked.

He gets a glimpse at your back and gasps: that’s why you didn’t want him to see you naked.

“You don’t have it anymore!” J sulks, astonished.

He is talking about the huge tattoo you had all over your back when you were together: “Joker & Y/N”, surrounded by a lot of Ha!Ha!Ha!’s: he personally worked on them to match his. It took a lot of time to finish the ink and a lot of laser removal sessions to get rid of everything after you two broke up.

“Why is it gone? Took me weeks!” J goes on, not thrilled with the discovery.

“I didn’t want it on my skin and I don’t want to talk about it,” the nervous disclosure doesn’t intimidate The King of Gotham:

“Why not?” he helps you put on underwear and a fresh nightgown.

“Can I see the kids, please?” you strain to get back in bed, redirecting the conversation towards a better subject.

“Yes,” J agrees, flustered. “I’ll bring something to eat.”   
“I’m not hungry,” you lick your dry lips, resting your head on the pillows, wondering when he will want to talk about what happened with Anya.

**************

The door to your bedroom is cracked and Frost peeks inside, not wanting to disturb for the moment: the boys are in bed, feeding you small bites from the huge platter that was delivered to your bedside. The Joker figured you’re not going to refuse to eat if they do it and the strategy worked.

“You know, Y/N, you’ve been feeding all of them since they were born, they can return the favor for once,” J keeps on yapping, preventing Mia from falling off the bed. She is agitated after you covered her in kisses and cried for a whole year thinking you almost lost her. And then the boys wanted kisses, envious on their little sister, and then The Joker had to ruin the party and tell them to behave because you don’t feel good.

Typical day in the household.

“Don’t expect Mia to feed you,” J underlines the obvious. “She is here only for moral support.”

You smile, urging the boys to eat also. You are drained and weakened but the overwhelming happiness you feel in your heart gives you a boost of energy.

“Sir?” Frost musters the courage to make his presence known.

The Joker goes outside the room, impatient to return inside.

“What is it?”

“Is there anything you’re out of ? Any items that have to be replenished for the kids? What should I send for?”

“Ask their mom,” J points towards you through the opened door. “She knows everything they like and need.”

The boys begin to fight since it seems you took more food from Zane; this is a ticking bomb ready to blow up. Even if you’re full, you try to equally eat from all of their hands, wanting to calm the waters before it gets worse.

Jonny enters your bedroom and The Joker remains behind for a few seconds, watching you chitchat with Frost and telling him what is needed for the children. He never understands how you remember all that stuff. It should be clear by now because… 

A mother always knows.


	3. Chapter 3

After 2 months

The Joker is alone in the VIP room, enjoying his solitude; he ordered everyone to clear the premises and wait outside since his business meeting ended earlier than expected. Out of the blue, the cell alerts of a new message. J slides the screen and a picture with you and Mia laughing pops up: you are both wearing matching headbands with yellow flowers, identical pearl necklaces and PJ’s made from the same fabric.

He barely smiles, when a new picture with you and now all the boys added in the frame pops up, apparently ready for bed. The Joker’s smile gets a little bit wider, then after a few seconds it disappears under the usual frown. He starts texting something back but changes his mind and erases the words, staring at the images one more time before placing the phone inside his pocket.

At the penthouse, you didn’t even wait for a reply since J never comments when you send him pics with the children; you get notifications they were seen and I guess that’s the best you’ll ever get.

“Kase honey, stop jumping on the bed, it’s time to sleep, ok?”

The four years old is still energetic so he keeps on jumping, chanting your name:

“Mo-mmy! Mo-mmy!!! Mo-mmyyy!!!”

“Kasey, be good and listen to me!” you try to make him behave while exiting his room with a clear purpose: taking Mia to her crib. The baby girl fell asleep in your arms, resting her head on your good shoulder. You are really not supposed to hold the kids or lift them up since it will take a while to completely heal from the injury you sustained, yet sometimes you can’t help it.

You carefully place her in the cradle, sneaking up into the room next door to make sure the twins are still dozing off. Thank goodness they are and you close the door to their bedroom, immediately rushing to Kase’s room when you hear the thud followed by crying.

The boy was hopping up and down when he accidentally moved too much towards the edge of the bed and landed on the floor right on his face. The carpet is soft but the impact scared him nevertheless.

“My poor little man,” you pick him up, worried he might have broken something.

Kase whimpers and hugs you, searching for comfort. You kiss the child’s head and caress his back, soothing the pain.

“Are you ok?” you wipe his tears, making him sit on the bed while you analyze him.

“Y-yes…” he stutters, sniffling.

“Then why are you crying honey?” you ask, cupping his face and the answer makes you hold in the laugh.

“Don’t know, mommy…”

“You’re silly,” you kiss his cheek, happy nothing bad happened. “You want me to read you a bedtime story?”

“U-hum, “ he nods, distracted by the offer. You get Kase under the covers and snuggle with him, reading until he falls asleep. And the busy day you had catches up with you, making you snooze in there before you have a chance to go to your own bedroom.

*************

“Y/N…Y/N, wake up!” The Joker shakes you and finally gets a reaction; he’s been calling your name and you didn’t even hear his first attempts.

“What time is it?” you turn towards him and Kase instinctively moves closer, searching for the warmth of your body.

“It’s 2 in the morning. Come on, hurry up, we have to go: it smells like gas downstairs, I think we have a gas leak!”

“Jesus!” you wake up in an instant, pulling Kase in your arms and struggling to get up; your shoulder hurts since you carried Mia around yesterday.   
“I’ll take him, go to the car!” he wraps his son in the blanket, not fazed by the protesting moans.

“Dadddddyyyyy,” the boy yawns, closing his eyes, upset with the ruckus.

“You’re fine, brat !” J lifts him higher in his arms and follows you. You want to get the other kids, but some of the henchmen are already helping, having them in blankets and heading towards the elevator. The gas detector is beeping in a frenzy but you were so exhausted you had no clue.

“Yuck, the smell,” you cover your nose, waiting for J to catch up with you. “Are we going to my house until this is taken care of?”

“I suppose so,” he growls and you know why: The Joker hates your house, always complains it’s too small.

Situated on the property you use as the children’s playground – 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a large living room and a spacious kitchen- the one level home is more than enough when needed. Since you live mostly at the penthouse, you never feel the need to upgrade. Usually the boys sleep in one bedroom and you sleep with Mia, this way J has his own room. If he’s not coming to stay when you take the kids there, you move Aiden and Zane to their father’s bedroom. Simple and easy.

Not for The King of Gotham though. “Simple and easy” are not his thing.

***************

“It’s cold in this stupid house!” J complains as soon as he enters the master bedroom where you gathered all the kids in the same bed, waiting for the central heating to warm up the house.

“You know I don’t have the heat on when we’re not here; it’s not safe. Be patient, it will get hot soon,” the reply attempts to explain the obvious situation.

“Gimme 2 kids, I need to warm up. I’ll take them to my bedroom!” he gestures towards the twins.

The two year olds are not excited about their dad’s strategy: they are cranky and whiney because they got woken up in the middle of the night and transported to another location. They hold on to you, burying their faces in the pillows.

“Hugging all the kids, hm?” J snarls, irritated. No other choice but to crawl in the big bed also.

You choose not to comment: how is this your fault?!

The Joker snatches Mia that is sleeping in your arms and places her on top of him, moving Kase to his left, this way he has some bodies around to warm up with.

“That’s better,” he grumbles, covering everyone with an extra blanket. Kase reaches for you, wanting to go back to the spot next to his mother but J won’t have any of it:

“Stop wiggling and sleep!”

“I want my mommy,” his son complains and The Joker gets mad:

“What am I, decoration?! She’s literally a few inches away!”  
“Kase, go to sleep honey, ok?” you plead, touched by how much the children love you. “Mommy’s here.”

In about 30 minutes the house reaches a comfortable temperature and J tiptoes out of crowded bed, wanting the privacy of his own room.

You keep on tossing and turning; your shoulder aches and you’ll definitely need some pain killers if you want to be able to rest. You slowly move away from the kids, not wanting to startle them. It’s so sweet to see the four innocent souls peacefully dreaming, curled up under the cozy fleece blankets.

“J, are you still awake?” you knock at his door.  
“Yes, come in,” he turns on the lamp, curious on why you’re still up. You open the door and step inside.

“My shoulder hurts and I forgot the painkillers at the penthouse. Can we send…”

“I have your med,” he shows you his coat on the chair. “Upper pocket.”

“Oh, that’s awesome!” you sigh, digging in there and retrieving the much needed remedy. ”Thank you.”

“Here,” he dismisses your gratitude, handing over the bottle of water kept on the nightstand.

You swallow 2 tablets, taking a deep breath when the sharp pain pokes at the surgery site.

“Get in,” The Joker slides on the sheets, making space for you.

You almost choke on the water and he rolls his eyes.

“Are you afraid I’m gonna take advantage of you?”

“No,” you hesitantly debate on his proposition, confused about it.

“Then get in,” he reinforces his will. “Don’t look at me like that!” J glares in your direction, not a big fan of that intrigued expression on your face.

You listen to him though and comply.

“What did the doctor say? Do you need more blood transfusions?” he starts the conversation as soon as you are next to him. You bite on your lip, nodding a no. “Well, if you do let me know, alright?”

“OK…” you agree, perfectly aware on why he’s interested: after all the blood loss you sustained with the stabbing, you needed more to replenish what was depleted. They had you hooked up to the IV ready to go, when J had a fit because the doctor didn’t notify him of the procedure. The Clown Prince of Crime was furious he wasn’t asked to donate blood: he’s a universal donor, a match for all blood types. Of course the medical team had to apologize and be thankful they weren’t killed on the spot.

They also had to listen to his rant about how generously rewarded they were for being allowed to take care of the mother of his children and how they couldn’t even keep him updated on your condition. That was the first time you heard him talk like that and it was hard to hold in the tears: it made you aware he did appreciate the sacrifices his ex-girlfriend made over the years while taking care of his babies. The Joker just never showed it; he’s not that kind of person.

Needless to say you do have his blood running through your veins now. And you could have more if necessary.

You stare at each other in silence: you have a feeling there’s a purpose to his behavior.

“Why did you remove the tattoo?” J unexpectedly blurs out.

Ahhh, there we go: that’s why you were cordially invited to stay; he wants to talk about stuff bothering him. Might as well since you want to take a few things off your chest also.

You answer with a question:

“Why would I want my ex boyfriend’s name on my skin?!”

“I worked on that tattoo for weeks! It was perfect, my best one !” J cuts you off.

It’s always about him, of course.

“We weren’t together anymore, no point in keeping it…”

“I worked on it !!!”

This is not going well.

“The lack of a tattoo doesn’t…”

“I spent weeks on that ink!” he interrupts again.

But you can’t hold in your own escalating anger:

“Why did you always bring Anya back?! Why did you tolerate her behavior?! Why did you keep on getting her pregnant?! She was horrible! And you didn’t want to have any children with me when we were together ! I would have been a great mother!!”

You lick you lips, running out of breath after the valid outburst. The Joker’s eyes have a sudden threatening sparkle, not expecting you’ll turn the tables on him.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you !” he grumbles, annoyed.   
“But I have to?!” you fight back, more and more upset. “Why…” and your voice breaks…”Why did you like her so much?…”

“I don’t like anybody!” he mutters through his silver teeth.

“You did like her a lot, it’s obvious…” you sadly smile. “And she neglected the kids, almost killed her own daughter… She never cared about you either…So…why did you like her so much?” you persist, unwilling to quit. At this point there’s no use: you are both fired up.

“Get out of here!” his menacing voice shrieks. “Get out before I might do something I can’t take back !” he pushes you away, struggling to contain his temper. “OUT!”

You don’t budge and J continues to violently shove you towards the end of the bed. 

“Get out I said !” he pants, provoked by your rebellious behavior. 

You don’t even feel the shoulder pain anymore or anything else for the matter.

“Why did you like her so much?” you repeat and he covers your mouth, rolling on top of you. The Joker realizes you’re not attempting to escape his grip; you just gaze at him without squirming.

“Get out of my sight!” J hisses, annoyed at your apathy; you’ve been in charge of his security for years, he knows you can defend yourself.

Why don’t you?

He lifts himself up a bit in order to give you one last nudge that will make you fall off the bed, when your arms tightly wrap around his neck, pulling him back on top of you.

“Why did you like her so much?” you forcefully hold him close when J wants to escape the embrace. “Why did you like her more than me?” you whisper in his ear and start crying, unable to suppress the burning question you wanted to ask for years. “I was loyal, I really loved you and never cheated,” your shaky voice makes him pay attention. “And you still broke up with me. And I didn’t object continuing to work for you when you asked. And I took care of your children when you asked,” you start sobbing and his face is buried in your neck, still mad yet listening. “You told me you trust me and that I never stopped being the Queen…Queen of what?” you lift his head up so you can look at him.“Queen of nothing?” and the tears keep on uncontrollably stream down your cheeks, your heart aching a hundred times more than the stabbing wound.

The Joker doesn’t bother to react or protest when you finally slide from under him, catching your breath while sitting at the edge of the bed. You wipe your eyes and prepare to go back to the kids just as his words barely make it out:

“You’re my children’s Queen and The Queen of this city. And…and my Queen since I can’t find a better one I can trust…”

Instead of making you happy, the sentences deepen your gloomy mood. J gets under the covers, turning his back on you, done with it all. He senses you scooting over closer to him until your steady breath lingers on his neck.

“Why are you still here?” he grouchily mutters and he feels your lips pressing on his shoulder.

“You want me to go?” you sigh. “Or…can I stay?”

“Suit yourself,” he reaches for the lamp and turns it off, not opposing to your left hand finding its way around his waist.

You’re almost napping when The Joker reopens the discussion:

“If by some miracle one of these days you manage to keep a man and get married, you still have to take care of the children; that’s an order !” he spits out with a hateful tone.

“ I really love your children; I couldn’t abandon them,” you cling to him more, somehow comforted when your hand is being moved from around his waist and kissed after a few seconds.

***************

The next day he avoids you.

You spend a lot of time outside on the porch, watching the kids play in the snow: even if is mid-February, there is plenty left for them to enjoy.

“Mommy… for you,” Zane gives you a snow ball, excited it made you smile. Mia is chewing one of her toys, cozy on the thick blanket she’s placed on at your feet.

“Thank you baby,” you kiss his nose, making sure to button up his jacket one more time. He likes to unbutton it; surely takes after his father, can’t keep stuff buttoned up. The thought gives you a sudden boost of positivity while watching him run back to his brothers. Aiden trips him and they both fall to the ground laughing, Kase trying to squeeze in between them because he wants to join in the fun.

“Don’t hurt yourselves !” you shout, the maternal instinct surfacing for the millionth time today and you help Mia up, the cute Princess standing without too much help; pretty soon she’ll be able to walk on her own.

You peak behind you through the huge glass windows, seeing The Joker talking to Frost. The King of Gotham is fast to throw something in the trash can, visibly irritated.

“Mommy, look !” Aiden yells, showing you the wall of snow he’s starting to build with his siblings.

“Good job honey!” you praise, waving at the boys and J steps outside, crabby disposition noticeable from a mile away. “Hey, did Frost tell you how long it will be until we can return to the penthouse?” you’re curious to find out since you hardly spoke to him since this morning.

“At least one week,” he growls, displeased at the news. “The pipes need to be replaced at the lower level. Only one duct was leaking, but they want to change all of them for safety.”

“That makes sense,” you grunt and lift Mia up, The Joker scolding:

“You’re not supposed to do that !”

“I know, I know,” you agree and he gestures for her. After finding herself in his arms, the little girl starts munching on his coat’s collar, babbling words that almost resemble “mama” and “dada”.

“Greeeat, another one to chew my ears off,” he frowns and it doesn’t go well with you.

“Why do you have to take the joy out of everything? Aren’t you happy Mia will walk and talk soon?” you sulk, not understanding why he can’t appreciate the little things.

Sarcasm follows:

“Sure, why wouldn’t I be? It’s something a kid never did before, right? Pfft,” he scoffs, ”you’re the one that got emotional when each kid learned to walk and speak; I don’t get the hype.”

“Of course you don’t,” you grumble, concluding the children must be hungry after playing for so long. “Darlings, come inside; it’s time to eat!”

************

You stop drinking your tea and elbow J, making him pay attention to the touching scene taking place at the kids’ table: the boys are eating and feeding their little sister also. Kase is actually standing, holding her hand and she nibbles on the chicken nugget offered by Aiden. As soon as Mia starts chewing, the boys eat some more too, waiting for her to finish what she has in her mouth.

Your eyes get teary; even if they did it before, you find it irresistibly adorable.

“That’s very cute,” you gulp, getting ready to help. The boys can mostly feed themselves, yet their mom’s intervention is more than welcomed.

J smirks, quietly adding more salad to his dish.

You head over to the counter, wanting to dump leftovers from your plate in the garbage can before helping the kids. The small box resting on top of the trash is discretely taking out by a curious Y/N. Is this what he threw in there earlier?!

You open it and hold your breath: it’s a gold bracelet; a simple circle beaded with a few diamonds, engraved with plain, meaningful words:

To: Mommy

From: Kase, Aiden, Zane and Mia

J hears you sniffling behind him and turns his head to see what’s going on. You hold the bracelet in the palm of your hand, speechless.

“Why is this in the garbage?!” you bite your cheek. “Help me put in on please.”

He doesn’t seem willing to fulfill your demand.

“I had no clue you dig in the trash now! Is it a part time job?” he mocks, cranky you found the customized gift he ordered eight days ago and decided to dispose of.

“Help me put it on,” you disregard his bitterness and J nags:

“It’s a gold hoop, easy to use, no clasp or nothing.”

“I want you to help me… please…”

That’s the point: you want him to do it.

“You’re annoying !” he yanks at you wrist, gliding the bracelet against the soft skin.

“Daaadddy, I’m thirsty,” Zane whines, coming over with his empty cup.

“Oh goody, someone finally needs me!” The Joker’s sassiness escalates for no reason.

***************

You creep inside his bedroom without knocking and lean your back against the closed door, waiting.

“Can I sleep here?” you utter, not looking his way.

“It’s your house, isn’t it?” the indirect invitation follows and you crawl in the bed by him, keeping a safe distance. “We can fit the twins between us; why aren’t you coming closer? Or are you scared you won’t be able to behave?”

You actually giggle, surprised you feel nervous.

“I think I’m alright, ” and you bring your body near his, cuddling like you used to years ago when you were together.

“Here’s the thing Y/N,” The Joker lifts your chin up. “If you sense any activity bellow my waist, don’t flatter yourself. It’s just a natural reaction due to the closeness. Are you…are you fucking blushing when I’m just messing with you?!” he teases and you feel your cheeks burning.

“I’m not blushing,” you whisper, embarrassed at your stupid vulnerability.

“You totally are,” J grins and you are aware it’s true. You wiggle in his arms, cautiously considering your next words. The smile perishes on his lips when you ask:

“J…Can you make love to me?”

He looks surprised and you feel awkward. 

“That was dumb to say,” you patch your mistake with a fake, clumsy laugh.

“Of course I can,” The Joker’s face comes really close to yours. “The question is if I want to.”

“Well,” you gulp, “do you want to?…”

“Maybe…” he gropes you, thinking. Or is he just pretending?

“Moommyyyyyy,” is heard from the next bedroom, Aiden starting to cry because he probably had a nightmare.

“Such a missed opportunity,” J chuckles and you get out of bed in a hurry, but he grabs your hand, squeezing it before releasing the hold: “Come back afterwards.”

***************

The children weren’t used to find their mommy sleeping in the same room with their father, but that changed two years ago. They don’t know what it means, but one thing’s for sure: they love coming in the master bedroom at the penthouse and jump on the bed, waking up both parents and horsing around all morning until The Joker hides under the pillows, displeased with the noise.

Mommy never complains though; she always shows her affection and lets them touch her growing belly, telling them their new sister is in there. So fascinating for the kids! And they are getting more and more impatient, especially the little girl: she was told she will be the big sister and it sounds like an important task.

*************

“Baby?” the three years old Mia’s squeaky voice inquires, excited and curious to see such a tiny doll in your arms.

“Yes honey, this is your sister Emma,” you smile, pecking her forehead. You are sitting on the floor with the kids around you and they are seeing their sister for the first time.

“Waahhhh, she’s so cute,” Kase caresses the small head, mesmerized.

“Can I kiss her?” Zane claps his hands, puckering his lips.

“Sure,” you agree and Aiden wants to do the same.

“Me too!” the oldest kisses her also and Mia pushes him away, pouting:

“She’s my sissy!”

“Hey, hey, no fighting! Emma is everybody’s, ok?” you try to alleviate the quarrel, amused it’s already starting. It took like…40 seconds for the rivalry to surface.

“Look daaa’yy, baby!” Mia snickers, presenting Emma to her father like some kind of treasure. He’s been sitting at his desk, watching their reactions. You smile, softly rocking the new born when it fusses from the commotion.

“I know, I made her,” he sneers, winking and the kids are completely absorbed by the new addition to the family.

“Can I hold her?” Zane extends his arms and you carefully place Emma in his grip, holding both of them so he won’t drop her.

You notice the Joker is the proud possessor of a very arrogant aura and you know why: he’s been bragging all afternoon that he makes very cute babies and no matter how the mom looks like, he compensates for the deficit. Such nonsense!

But the annoying truth is that he does make beautiful babies.

“Mommy, can I hold her too?” Aiden begs, getting you out of daze.

“Sure can,” you nod, wondering when the jealousy will actually kick in.

You are definitely prepared for the challenge: this might have been your first pregnancy, but it’s actually your fifth child. It shouldn’t be too hard since…

Once a mother always a mother.


	4. Chapter 4

Another fight with The Joker and you didn’t have the patience to wait for the elevator; you just took the stairs, wanting to be far away from him as fast as possible.

“Mommy left,” Kase whispers to his siblings, noticing you stormed out of the penthouse.”She took Emma,” the six years old reports to the other children that stopped playing and look at their father, knowing that he must be the reason why this happened again.

“Don’t come back!!! Do you hear me?” J shouts, going back inside his office. He continues to mumble and slam stuff around even if you are not there anymore to participate in the fight.

“Whe’s mommy?” Mia squeezes her doll, stepping over the toys scattered around in the left corner of the living room.

“Mommy’s gone,” Kase repeats and Zane whimpers, already upset:

“I want my mommy. Where did she go?”

His twin is on the verge of crying:

“Is she coming back?”

Zane lifts his shoulders up, confused.

“Oh,” Mia bends over and picks up one of the teddy bears laying on top of a pile of Legos, handing it over to Aiden: the little girl saw his teary eyes and tries to soothe her brother.“Fo’ you, ok?”

Aiden wipes his eyes, accepting the gift from his three years old sister.

The kids don’t like it when you’re not around: they are very fond of their mother and old enough to understand daddy says things that make her go away.

You actually drove straight to your house, grabbed some baby supplies and went to the mall with Emma. After aimlessly walking around for about an hour, you retreat to a quiet lounge and start breastfeeding her. You love looking in her bright little eyes and kiss the tiny fingers while she eats. You couldn’t do this for the other children since you are not their biological mother; they were raised on formula because Anya didn’t like to take care of them. And it suddenly hits harder because this was on your mind since you left the penthouse: the kids probably wonder where you are.

A mother needs her babies. All of them.

You take your cellphone out of your jacket, careful not to disturb your three weeks old and press on the first name in “Contacts”: The Joker. He answers instantly.

“It’s me…I want to talk to the children.”

“NO!” and he hangs up.

Great, he’s going to be a total jerk…

You try again. He picks up after the first ring.

“J, let me talk to…”  
“NO!” and you get the dial tone once more.

You sigh, evaluating your options. Not too many.

You call him again.

“Where’s my daughter?” he barks before you have a chance to say anything.

“She’s with me, of course!” you mutter through your clenched teeth. “Where else?!”

“Bring her back!”   
“I don’t want to see you, J. I just want to talk to the children!”

“Don’t think so!!” he yells in the phone and hangs up again.

“Seriously?!” you talk to yourself at this point, staring at your cell.

Back at the penthouse, The Joker tosses his phone on the desk, irritated you keep on bothering him. Why do you want to talk to the kids?! You’ve only been gone for about 2 hours.

Like he understands your need to hear their voices and the fact that you already miss them.

After half an hour, J realizes something is weird: so quiet in the penthouse…too quiet. It’s never this silent with a bunch of offsprings around.

“Kase?” he shouts, carefully listening.

No answer.

“Aiden?”

Nothing.

The Joker gets off his chair and goes to the living room. The children are not there. He looks around, going to the second floor. No trace of them. Did they take the elevator? They know they are not supposed to use it. Nope; still there, the doors opened. Balcony? Nobody there either. Did they take the stairs? Better check, it’s the only other option. J keeps on descending until he hears them talk, quickens the pace and finally catches up with them.

Kase is leading the pack, carrying a small bottle of water; probably the oldest figured out they need some kind of supplies for their quest. Behind him, Mia is stepping down the stairs just one at a time since her feet are too small. Zane is holding her right hand and Aiden her left, helping the little Princess. They have been gone for a while, yet only made it to the 24th floor: it’s a slow process.

Surprisingly, none of the henchmen bumped into them yet – they are required to patrol the whole building regularly.

“Where are you guys going?” the kids hear their father and stop, turning to face him. The Joker notices they have no shoes on, just socks.

“To find mommy,” Kase candidly answers.

“Why, is she missing?!” J sarcastically asks and the kids are too young to understand his sassiness.

“I want my mommy…” Zane whimpers and The King of Gotham realizes the boy’s jeans are wet:

“You are The Joker’s son !” J huffs, “and you peed your pants?!”

If you were present you would probably roll your eyes and make a comment similar to: “What does being The Joker’s son has to do with anything?! He’s only four and a half and accidents happen ! ” Since you’re not here though, nobody to underline the obvious.

“Sorry daddy,” Zane remorsefully sniffles, upset his parent is interrupting the search party.

Mia sticks out her tongue and J sneers, displeased.

“How dare you?! Got your mom’s attitude, hm?” J snatches the little girl, aware she is the weak link and it will take forever if he waits for her to walk upstairs. “And straight into the bathtub with you, understand?” he addresses Zane. “As soon as we get back home, you’ll spend 10 minutes in time out, got it?” The Joker announces the punishment to his daughter and Mia’s eyes get big.

You actually came up with this: when the kids don’t behave, you make them face one of the corners of the penthouse for a limited time; they are not allowed to talk or look at each other. For some reason, they believe it’s the worst thing that can happen to them, which works when discipline is needed.

The three boys are silently following their father, worried they will get in trouble also.

Mia wiggles in J’s arms, fake crying for a few seconds; J pretends not to hear. She wraps her arms around his neck tighter, kissing his cheek.

“No, da’yy, no corner, ok? Mia’s good, ok?”

Every time she says ”ok”, her voice goes really high pitch.

“How are you good?! You showed me your tongue!”

“Noooo, da’yy, no, no, no…” she pouts, caressing his face. “Mia’s good, ok? No corner, ok?”

“You sound like a broken record,” the Joker mumbles and the little Pumpkin puckers her lips, not understanding what he means.

“ I ‘ove you da’yy, ok? No corner for Mia,” and she rests her chin on his shoulder, waving at her brothers. The Clown Prince of Crime feels warmer and the only thing he can remember for the moment is how disappointed and mad he was after finding out Mia wasn’t his daughter.

“Nice strategy,” J gently pats her back and she whispers in his ear:

“So’yy da’yy, OK? No corner, OK?”

The Joker takes a deep breath, oblivious she got under his skin a long time ago.

“Why did you stick out your tongue?… Show me again!” he growls and Mia obeys, shyly blinking.

“Such a nerve, just like your mom,” a frustrated parent concludes, reckoning you should be there to witness the ordeal.

Finally back to the penthouse and Zane is send to undress for his bath. The cute Doll is set free and she runs to the other two brothers, returning by her father’s side after a few seconds.

“Da’yy, I need to go potty.”

“Well…go!” J urges and Kase speaks up:

“She needs help daddy.”

“Great!!” the drama takes a new turn but the exasperated parent grabs her hand, heading towards the second restroom downstairs. “Where’s your mother?” comes out of his mouth for the lack of a better sentence. Such a useless question: your boyfriend knows exactly where you are and why you left in the first place; entirely his fault, not that he would admit to it.

After helping the little girl, J goes to turn on the water in the other bathroom where Zane awaits in the bathtub; the water gets higher and the splashing exponentially intensifies.

“Hey, sit down and behave!” The Joker admonished and his son giggles, splattering in his dad’s direction. Water gets on J’s brand new Armani outfit: dark purple pants and a silver shirt, half unbuttoned of course.

He gasps, stunned.

“On my new clothes?!”

More water aimed his way and patience runs out:

“You asked for it brat !!” and he leans over, splashing Zane, not because he wants to play around, but because he wants to pay back such an affront. The little one screams with delight, jumping up and down in the huge bathtub which prompts his siblings to check on the noise. Oh my God, why weren’t they invited to the party?!

The other three children run directly in the bathtub with their clothes on before J can stop them. They laugh and scream, excited and happy to horse around, pushing one other and splattering water all over the place. At this point, The Joker is soaked and so are the kids; takes him a good 20 minutes before he manages to calm them down and get them out of the water.

He has to go change his clothes and dress the four misbehaving mini-Jokers with dry clothes too. Clearly not what he had in mind for today!

“Daddy, I’m hungry,” Aiden fidgets while J finishes putting on his t-shirt.

“Stay still !” the struggling parent yanks at his son’s outfit. “I’ll get you something to eat, alright?”

Big surprise: apparently everybody’s hungry, including himself. He gathers the kids at the big table in the living room, placing a bunch of food in front of them. J starts eating and the children look at each other, confused.

“What now?!” The Joker sighs, chewing on his chicken salad.

“Ummm…Mommy cuts the crust,” Aiden shows the clueless father the stack of sliced bread.

“So?! Just eat, it’s fine!”

There’s whimpering, some faded protesting and explanations, prompting J to lose his cool.

“Fine! Fine! I’ll cut the crust, are you happy now?!” he angrily fulfills the request, watching them take a few bites before the kids stare at him again, waiting.

“Yeeees?” he exhales, giving them a mean glare.

“Mommy puts the olives in cups for us,” Kase bites on his lip.

“Why can’t you eat olives from your plate, huh?”

More justifications, whining and reasons he does not understand, enough to make The King of Gotham annoyed.

“Yeah, whatever! Just eat ! Or do you want to spend a few minutes in time out?”

The kids listen to him and munch on the food, scared they will be punished.

“I want my mommy,” Mia rubs her eyes, upset.

“Me too,” Zane sniffles, chasing a cherry tomato on his plate with the fork.

“Mommy!!!!” Aiden shouts, seeing you enter the living room with Emma in your arms. Nobody heard the elevator: too preoccupied with the eventful day and your absence.

All four children rush and hug your legs, talking in the same time; something about bread crust and olives, difficult to understand since voices overlap.

“Just look who decided to grace us with her presence,” J stabs at his salad, impertinence surfacing right away.

“Why didn’t you answer your phone?! I was worried something happened!” you bend over to kiss the kids and they cling to your neck, fighting to get your affection.

You’ve been trying to reach him without success for the last hour and a half.

“I was busy, OK?!” he points his finger at you, mad. “I thought I told you not to come back!”

You wouldn’t know, but J is relived you returned without further action from his part.

“I came for my babies!” you frown, limping towards the table since the four brats won’t let go. “I was afraid they got hurt or something!”

He wouldn’t know how happy you are to see the children; you missed them and… sort of missed him also. Just a little bit, almost inexistent urge…

“Maybe you should have worried about it before you left !” J spits out, signaling for Emma. She’s awake, looking completely adorable in the yellow onesie with lady bugs and pink flowers. You hand her over wishing to make some comments, yet the kids keep on talking and reporting what occurred in the measly 4 hours you were gone.

J keeps on gazing at Emma, loving the fact that she has blue eyes. He doesn’t realize you made the kids sit at the table and you’re eating with them now, too absorbed by his three weeks old. Blissfully unaware she got under his skin the moment she was born, just like the rest of his children. How could he know? The Joker always thinks he hates everybody, no other feelings inside his heart besides disgust and animosity towards the world.

**************

He is back in the office, but the non-stop giggling going on in the living room is very distracting. J stops typing on his computer and peeks outside, curious to find out the source of the commotion.

The five munchkins are lined up on the floor, from the youngest to the oldest and you are doing push-ups on top of them, moving from one child to the next. Every time you go down, you kiss them and blow raspberries on their necks, prompting laughter and impatient screams. Emma is the only one not overjoyed with what her mom is doing, way too young to savor the game. She is cozy on her fluffy pillow, eyelids getting heavy.

Behind the cracked door, The Joker is pleased to see you are wearing the new work-out outfit he got you last week with matching Adidas shoes. J decides to join his family, indifferently bringing one of his laptops and crushes on the couch, spying on the fun.

He couldn’t stay away from the chaos in his life even if he’d try.

Seems you are done with the push-ups and Mia is the first one to get up, approaching her father and trying to get his attention. She softly steps on his shoe, waiting.

“What is it?” he asks, confused.

The little girl does it again.

“They like to imitate what I do when I work out,” you disclose, not necessarily wanting to talk to him. “You know I’ve been trying to teach them self-defense before I got pregnant and I now can reprise my routine; she’s showing you what she’s learned.”

“Great skills,” J smirks, tucking Mia’s hair behind her ears. “Are you going to defend daddy if Batsy comes?”

“U-hum !” she nods a yes even if she has no clue what he’s referring to.

“Good girl,” the smirk gets wider and he kisses her forehead, somewhat amused. The boys see their sister is getting attention from daddy and come over, climbing on his knees. There is not enough space and they start fighting. Surprisingly, The Joker doesn’t chase them away and closes his laptop, setting it aside while striving to make space for all four.

This is something to be taken advantage of.

“Can you please put the kids to sleep?” you take Emma in your arms, the precious treasure already napping. “ I’m going to take a shower,” you lay her in the baby basket, covering the tiny body with the warm blanket.

“Yeah… I will,” J agrees and you are fast to go before he changes his mind.

****************

It took The Joker some time to put the overly energetic offsprings to sleep, but he achieved tonight’s goal. How come you didn’t show up yet?!

You actually fell asleep downstairs in your recliner after the shower, wanting to watch TV; didn’t even make it to the first commercial break of the movie and you’re out, exhausted. Very tired these days, especially with waking up at night every 2-3 hours to feed Emma. And four more kids to take care of, plus a difficult boyfriend to deal with. He’s lucky you love him, that’s all you have to say about it.

“Hey Y/N, wake up,” he taps on your cheek. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.”

You mumble half words and turn on your side.

“Come on,” he pulls you in his arms and strains to lift you up. “Jesus, woman, you’re heavier,” the complaint follows and you wrap your legs around his waist, not opening your eyes.

“I just had a baby,” you keep your head on his shoulder, yawning.

“I didn’t say anything about that; you’re making up things,” J gazes at your face close to his, studying your features; he really liked the glow you had when you were pregnant with Emma.

Such a strange feeling in his heart while carrying you towards the master bedroom… Is it love?… Impossible. Absurd. Ridiculous. Not in a million years! Hate?…Probably. Unmistakably. Definitely. What else could it be?!

Your legs weaken around him as you lose your grasp on reality and he lifts you higher, making you open your eyes.

“Mmmm, lemme sleep,” you protest, almost at the destination.

“Hey Y/N, I think we should have another baby,” he whispers and you’re suddenly alert, lifting your head to look at him. That smile blooming on your face makes him uncomfortable.

“You mean it?” and it sounds you’re about to cry.

“Being a mother suits you so yes, I mean it,” The Joker gets you in bed, crawling besides his girlfriend. You can’t utter another word and he has no problem continuing the conversation on his own. “If you have a second baby, will things get saggy? Will your boobs get down to your knees?”  
You burst out laughing, still emotional about his proposition.

“Maybe just down to my bellybutton.”

“I can deal with that,” J chuckles to hide how mesmerized he is by your teary eyes.

“There is nothing I wouldn’t do for the children,” your smile gradually fades under the burden of anxiety. “ I fear for them, because of who they are…”

“I know…” he traces your lips, sulking. “But I’m here and you’re here…right?”

“Nowhere else I’d rather be,” you admit, cuddling to him.

“Except the mall,” The Joker teases and hears you snicker on his chest even if you’re still worried. “Go to sleep,” he turns off the lamp, only the baby monitor blinking in the darkness.

The same eerie darkness surrounds a deserted warehouse outside the town where several parties are meeting to plot the murder of everyone closest to The Joker: his children and his woman. And maybe take him down also if the occasion arises.

Gotham has no idea what The King and Queen of Gotham are capable of in order to protect what’s theirs, but the damned city is about to find out.


	5. Chapter 5

The Joker insisted you accompany him to the meeting he has today with one of his main smugglers. You were hesitant leaving the children at home, especially the one month old Emma. Plenty of trustworthy people to watch the little ones, but you prefer to take care of them.

It’s been a while since you last acted as head of security; being pregnant stopped you from such task. The truth is you kind of missed it, yet you love your role as a mother also. Thankfully, Frost is the other reliable person to keep a very close eye on The King of Gotham and make sure it all goes smooth when you’re absent.

The negotiations started 5 minutes ago and you circle the warehouse, signaling the other henchmen to patrol outside. As you walk towards the far north end of the storehouse, you pass by a pile of ammo crates and the faint cry coming from behind them gets your attention.

“What are you doing here, hm?” you mutter to yourself when you see a baby in a cardboard box, maybe two months old, apparently a little boy since the intense blue onesie stands out. “Hey buddy, where’s your blanket?” you lift him in your arms, not seeing anything else around except the cold space he was confined in. Chilly in the warehouse and the baby’s hands are so cold to the touch. He whimpers, not having the strength to cry louder.

You take off your jacket and wrap him up in it, upset at the situation. The mom in you immediately takes over and you blow air on the tiny fingers, warming up the helpless infant and cuddling him to your chest.

“Ssssttt, don’t cry,” you slowly rock him. “It’s better now, see?…Hey Sully!” you raise your voice, walking back towards the gathering. “Who’s baby is this?!”

The smuggler stops talking to The Joker and Frost, worried about that displeased expression written all over your face. 

“Oh, we took him from some very wealthy folks. They didn’t pay the ransom yet so I am not sure what to do with him,” Sully lifts his shoulders up, explaining the situation to a more and more annoyed Y/N.

“Did anybody feed him?! Or changed him?! Why isn’t he wrapped in a blanket?! It’s very cold in here for a baby!!”

“Ummm…” J’s business partner feels cornered since you’re becoming more and more aggressive. “One of my girls fed and changed him this morning.”  
“This morning?!” you shriek. “It’s 2 o’clock Sully!!!”

Frost glances at The Joker, seeking for some kind of clue on what he wants done; your boyfriend is silent, watching the scene and not reacting for the moment.

“Well, what can I say? The parents didn’t pay the ransom, probably they don’t want him back that badly,” he chuckles, believing the other two guys will consider this as funny as he does. “If they don’t pay by tomorrow, I will probably drown him and mail the packaged body to them, this way those rich bastards learn their lesson, right?” and he laughs, the smirk dying on his lips as you frown, irritated:

“You’re an asshole, Sully!!”

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” he lifts his hands up in surrender. “Sorry it was a bad joke,” he turns towards The Joker: The Clown Prince of Crime is still quiet, staring at you. “No need to bother with this insignificant problem; I’ll take care of it,” he reaches his arms for the little boy.

“Try to take him from me and I’ll break your fucking neck !” you threaten with such determination the smuggler stops his movement, nor understanding why you’re so mad.

Knowing your reputation, it’s wise not to stir the waters even more.

The Joker didn’t see you in action for some time and would like to witness your skills at work again, but he wants his money also. He gestures it’s OK to for you to leave and watches as you stomp towards one of the exits, shouting orders at the other henchmen as soon as you’re outside.

After about 30 minutes, the short meeting concludes and Frost stays behind, organizing money in two suitcases to take with him.

“What’s up with Y/N?” Sully asks Jonny, perplexed on your behavior. “She got mad for nothing.”

“You know she raised Mister J’s children, right?” Frost grumbles, not excited he has to explain your actions: it is obvious to him why you did it. Apparently, not everyone is on the same page…

“Yeah, everybody knows that,” the smuggler replies, insensitive to the issue.

“And you know Y/N and Mister J had a baby together recently, yes?” Frost lifts his eyebrows, almost done with his chore.

“Yes, everybody knows…Oh, wait…” Sully frowns, “…you mean it’s the mom thing?!”

Jonny gives him such a glare words are not necessary.

“I get it, you know? But this is business and that’s my merchandise. I need my merchandise back; the kid is worth a lot.”  
Frost closes the suitcases, ready to bail.

“I wouldn’t push her buttons more if I were you,” he utters before abandoning a confused Sully.

***********

The Joker finds you in his SUV, breastfeeding the infant. He rests his elbow on the opened door, takes a deep breath and inquires:

“Are we adopting honey?” the smugness finds its way out of his mouth.

You sniffle, caressing the tiny fingers: 

“Poor thing, he was starving…”

Your boyfriend rolls his eyes, not necessarily pleased or displeased with the whole incident.

“You do realize your charity case might have diseases or God knows what, hm?…”

“He’s just a baby…” you whisper, watching him fall asleep. Now that he’s been fed and warmed up, the little one is comfortable enough to doze off in the arms of the stranger that saved him. “You know she used to do this… She didn’t show any interested in your babies…she didn’t feed them…or changed them…just gave birth to the children and neglected them afterwards,” you sniffle while lifting your bra up and struggle to button up your shirt with just one hand since the other is holding the kid.

J knows exactly who you’re referring to: Anya.

“That’s why I asked you to take care of them,” he licks his lower lip, biting it afterwards.“Lemme do it,” he offers to help and buttons the remaining ones. “Saint Y/N,” The King of Gotham sighs, closing the door. He’s not even frustrated, which is rare.

The Joker goes around the car and places himself in the driver’s seat, jiggling the keys out of his pocket.

“Can you ask that jerk whose baby this is so he can be delivered to his parents?” you plead, not wanting to give the baby boy back to Sully. “I’ll ask a currier to take him back…Please?…”

A deep growl.

“Please?…For me?” you beg, squeezing the new found treasure to your body.

“Uggh… you’re killing me,” J protests and takes out his cellphone, dialing Sully’s number since he doesn’t want to return to the warehouse.

*************

“I shouldn’t have listen to you,” The Joker sneers, watching the news on his tablet. “His family is loaded! We should have kept the kid and collect the ransom. A few easy millions down the drain!”

He’s been bickering about it, especially since they keep on re-playing the breaking- news: a video of Bruce Wayne and his wife, thanking the person that returned their son safe and sound, the only hair to the enormous fortune for the moment.

You kiss his shoulder, snuggling by him on the sofa under the canopy. Everyone is at your house today, taking advantage of the nice weather and enjoying the outdoors.

“I love you,” you smile to make it better, aware J is extra crabby and you had something to do with it.

“Good for you, Princess. Such an achievement!” he huffs, turning off the tablet, sick of seeing the stupid reason why he’s not a few millions richer.

Emma is sleeping in her baby basket right by you, not bothered by her parents talking. Mia sneaks under the canopy, wanting to play with her sister. You didn’t even notice yet.

“Boo!!!” she gets into Emma’s face and the small body shudders, abruptly woken up from her nap.

“Oh no honey, don’t do that,” you pick up the little one in your arms as she cries and screams up a storm, startled by her older sibling. “She’s too young for this game, OK?”

Mia’s lower lip quivers and before you can say anything else she starts bawling her eyes out, upset her little sister is crying like that.

“It’s ok, don’t cry. You just scared her, she’s fine. Just don’t do it again, alright?”

But tears keep on rolling down her cheeks and The Joker finally decides to do something about it. He lifts Mia up, making her stand on his knees while holding her waist so she won’t fall.

“Why are you crying, hm?”

The three years old keeps on sobbing, her face getting redder by the second.

“That’s my daughter…” he points out towards Emma and you get ready to intervene, afraid he will say something mean to Mia, probably bring up the fact that she’s not his.

It’s not her fault Anya cheated on J and had her with God knows who.

“I don’t like it when my girls are crying, gives me a headache,” he wipes her tears and the toddler has no idea what he’s talking about.

“Daaa’yyy,” Mia whimpers, nuzzling to his neck because all she wants for now is her parent. The Joker sighs, holding her tighter and it seems to be working: she’s calming down.

“Why do I have so many kids?!” he blurs out, most likely a rhetorical question out of exasperation; his girlfriend wants to reply anyway.

“You mean we? And five kids is not a lot,” you bring to his knowledge.

Emma is not crying anymore and you keep on rocking her, tickling the little feet. You take Mia’s hand, pulling her towards you:

“Do you want to give Emma a kiss?”

“N-no,” she pouts, burying her face into J’s shoulder.

“Awww, why not?” you laugh since she’s fussing.

The Joker’s cell phone alerts of a brand new text message and he glances at the screen, scrolling down the page.

“The shipment arrived,” he announces, trying to put Mia down but she clings to him, needy and sulking.   
“Already? That was fast,” you softly bounce Emma on your knees, hoping she will close her eyes soon.

“I’m going to go and make sure everything is there,” he gets up, forcefully putting Mia down but she starts whimpering and he lifts her up again. “You’re such a brat! I’ll take you to the car and that’s it, alright?”

“Noooooo,” she whines, prepared to have a tantrum if her dad doesn’t stay with her.

“We’re going back to the Penthouse soon,” you announce when he leans over for a kiss.

“Sounds good, I’ll return once I’m done,” he pecks your lips, almost losing his balance with the little girl hanging from his neck.

**************

“Zane, com’ere!” you urge the playful child that’s hiding behind his tween, giggling.”Honey, you need to put your pants on !” you try to catch him when he runs behind his other brother Kase, refusing to obey.

You gathered everybody upstairs in the master bedroom at the Penthouse, changing the kids’ clothes after they had chocolate ice-cream: they surely enjoyed it and of course the sweet treat got on their garments.

“Hehehehe!” the boy teases and you give up, tossing his jeans on the bed.

“Fine, just walk around in your underwear, see if I care,” you protest, getting on your knees in order to collect their dirty clothes.

“Anybody home?” you suddenly hear a voice and Sully sees you popping up at the edge of the stairs. “Hey Y/N,” the smuggler greets, trying to be nice after messing up badly the last time he saw you.

“What are you guys doing here?” you look at the familiar faces: about 13 men, people you do business with quite seldom.

“Mister J invited us over for a meeting,” Nyx lies without blinking because he doesn’t want to make you suspicious.

That’s odd, you think.

The Joker never summons anybody here.

“He’s not back yet,” you announce. “Take a sit and I’ll come down shortly,” you gesture towards the lavish furniture, having a dreadful feeling about their unexpected presence at your home. J should have at least texted you they’re coming.

“Will do!” Sully agrees, waving in acceptance.

You step back inside the master bedroom and get your phone, wanting to make sure your boyfriend wants the meeting to be held at the Penthouse. As you sweep the screen, the baby monitor on the desk lights up, capturing the conversation going on in the living room.

You have baby monitors all over the place, something you need when you have five children to keep an eye on.

“The bitch needs to go down first,” someone whispers, “then we take care of the little assholes.”

“This will show who’s in charge; Gotham is not his!” you distinguish Sully’s low voice.

“Shit, I’m not sure if I can kill innocent children,” one of them has doubts and he gets reprimanded.

“Don’t be a pussy!” Nyx scolds. “Nothing connected to him is innocent !”

More indistinctive conversation that you don’t listen to anymore: you are already shoving the children towards the bathroom, grabbing Emma from the crib in the process.

“Get in here!” you help the kids inside the empty Jacuzzi and they think they will play around after you turn on the water. “Stop it!” you admonish and they don’t understand why their mother is so bitter when she’s usually very affectionate.

“What is it mommy?” Kase gets uneasy as you force them to sit down.   
“Sssttt, be quiet! Just stay in here and don’t come out, ok? Hold Emma,” you give her to the six years old, determined to protect your babies at all costs.

“Mommy, I’m scared,” Aiden wants to get up but you press him down towards the bottom of the tub, fighting the tears.

“Don’t be scared, I’ll be right outside, alright? Kase, keep your brothers and sisters in here! I don’t want to see any of you outside this bathtub until me or daddy come get you, alright?”

“Mooommyy,” Mia winces but you don’t have time to soothe her.

You close the bathroom door and take the phone out of your pocket, rushing inside the walk-in closet for your gun and bullets.

“Yes?” J answers promptly.

“Sully and about 12 more are here for us,” the shocking sentence makes his heart stop; and The Joker thought he doesn’t have one.

“Do what you have to!” he snarls, hanging up and dials Frost’s number, running towards his car. “Frost, where the fuck are you?!”

“In the basement, sir !” Jonny reports, worried his boss is yelling like that.

“Who let Sully and his men go upstairs?! Nobody gets to the Penthouse without my consent, you all know that ! Why wasn’t I called for approval??!!!!”

“I was in the basement for the last hour, sir. What’s happening?”

“They want to kill them! Go! Go now!”

Frost drops his cell, screaming for the other henchmen around to follow him. He races towards the elevator, cussing and wanting to find out who is responsible for endangering The King of Gotham’s family.

Little he knows it won’t be that easy to reach you.

****************

You quietly crack the bedroom’s door open, crawling towards the railing with your gun in one hand and a short range grenade in the other. You cautiously peek downstairs and see the guys scattered around the living room. The elevator’s door is pried opened with a suitcase and the staircase entrance is blocked by one of the dressers they moved in front of it.

The jerks came prepared.

You take a deep breath and get on your feet, Max being the first to notice you.

“Y/N, are you coming?”

The others turn their heads towards you, waiting for a reply.

“My children…” you raise your voce, “…are not assholes!!” and you pull the pin from the grenade, tossing it and rushing back inside the bedroom.

Turmoil downstairs and screams, then the powerful blast shakes the Penthouse; you know you can’t use more than one explosive, it’s too dangerous. After you lock the door, you walk backwards towards the bathroom, talking to the children since you can hear them fret, scared of the noise:   
“It’s ok, mommy’s here! Don’t be afraid, I’m here! Stay in there!”

You wish you could go comfort them but you can’t; you have to keep your kids safe.

Groaning and moans of pain reach your ears: makes you wonder how many you got with the grenade. Heavy steps going up the stairs and you know a few men are in front of the room. You shoot different spots in the heavy door and a thud is heard on the other side.

“Fucking bitch!” Max exclaims. “Shoot the door knob and kick the door open! We all charge inside in the same time! She’s alone!”

Your arm is extended towards the entrance, your finger steady on the trigger. You pant, outraged somebody has the audacity to come at your house and try to kill your babies. At this point you know that no matter what happens, you will gladly give your life trying to protect what belongs to you and The Joker.

************  
“Fuck…,” Frost mumbles, seeing you lying face down in a pool of blood on the bathroom floor, surrounded by the children. They’re all bawling, terrified and not understanding what’s going on. Kase is still holding Emma, repeatedly attempting to get a reaction from his mother:

“Mommy, wake up! Pleeeassee, wake up!”

It took a while for the henchmen to break into the Penthouse: the elevator didn’t work and they had to take the stairs, but that way in was blocked also. They had to retreat to the 25th floor, climbing up the fire escape ladder that leads to the terrace on the 30th floor. The few pricks that were left alive and tried to flee when help arrived didn’t make it very far: they were captured and executed on the spot.

You used whatever strength you had left to get to your kids, just to make sure they’re alright, then you collapsed, fainting from the blood loss. You were shot 5 times at point blank: twice in the abdomen, once in the right arm and 2 more bullets pierced your left leg.

Frost knows his boss is going to flip and for good reason this time.

************

The Joker’s voice going in and out, angrily shouting things you can’t understand, Frost yelling and blaming what happened on the careless idiots that took your safety and the children’s lightly. Gun shots. Is he punishing those responsible? No way to know…

**** Silence…for a long time…who knows for how long…

“Pumpkin, can you hear me?” his voice echoes and you can’t move or react. “You need three more surgeries, otherwise you won’t be able to walk…Don’t worry, you’ll be fine…” J gulps, concerned when there’s no reaction.

He was told the doctors will keep you into an induced coma for a while due to the nature of your severe injuries, yet the hope for a slight response still lingered in his mind.

**** “Mommy, I’m not wearing pants,” Zane confesses, whispering in your ear. Muffled laughter and you sense your hair being combed, probably Mia is playing, adding her ribbons and clips to your long locks because she likes to do that on a regular basis.

“La,laa,la,laaa…”she hums a little song and then your boyfriend snorts.

“Wow, Princess, I like your new hair style, you should keep it. I’ll take a picture and show you when you wake up, ok?”

**** Distorted whispers, then the clear secret shared in great intimacy:

“Mommy, I hid Aiden’s red truck under your bed,” Kase giggles, caressing your cheek.

Nothing for a long time, then a faint question:

“Mommy, I can’t find my red truck. Did you see it?”

You would like to say something, but you can’t move.

**** You feel a weight on your chest and realize it’s Emma. Steady breaths around you and the only thought before you lose yourself again is that they children are probably sleeping, cuddled to their mother.

**** “Princess, you’re done with the surgeries. Hurry up and get better so we can work on that new baby. We’re not getting any younger, especially you… … … … I just called you old. No comment?… … … That’s a first!”

Your lips being kissed…so much silence again…

**** “Anytime now would be nice,” The Joker grumbles, squeezing your arm. ”These kids are driving me crazy. Wake up!”

**** Is it night or day? You wish you would know….

You slowly open your eyes and stare at the ceiling, attempting to turn but you can’t feel your body. You want to speak yet no words come out.

“Daaadyyy!!” you suddenly see Aiden’s face popping close to yours. “Daadyyyy!! Mommy’s awake!”

*****************

After 16 years

“Are you guys ready?” Connor asks the 22 year old Kase as he enters the living room; his friend is here to pick him up and his siblings so they can go skiing for the weekend.

“Almost! We’re packing the last things,” Kase texts on his phone, glancing at you every few seconds.

“How is your mom doing?” he points towards the woman sitting on the couch, blankly staring in the distance. “Is the new treatment working?”

You oldest son exhales, saddened by the state you’re in.

“Not so far, still paralyzed…We tried so many things over the years without any results, it’s discouraging. My dad says there is another medical procedure out there that might help. He’s looking into it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Connor sighs at the news. “It’s always good to see you Misses Y/N,” he addresses the crippled mother even if she can’t reply.

Kase remorsefully sniffles.

“Is Evie coming too?” Connor changes the subject. ” I know Mister J said no last time because she’s only 14.”

“She’s coming, we managed to convince him. I’m gonna go and finish packing,” your son explains, heading upstairs again.   
“I’ll keep your mom company!” Connor smiles, approaching your resting spot.

“Sounds great!” and a door is being slammed.

The young man stops in front of you, bending one knee so he can be at the same eye level with you.

“I feel sorry for you,” he talks in a low tone, a huge smirk creeping up on his face.”Everything you did for them and it’s all for nothing.”

A malicious chuckle.

“I’m saddened to inform you none of your children will return home from the ski resort, including Evie. You must be going insane knowing Mister J had another child with someone else after you were reduced to this, hm? Like it’s not enough you raised four children that aren’t yours, he added another one. Look at the positive side: at least you didn’t have to nurture one more daughter you didn’t give birth to since you were paralyzed. No loyalty from The Joker, right? What else to expect from someone like him anyway?…I want you to know they won’t suffer, it will be quick. Took months to plan but…”

Suddenly, your eyes focus on Connor and your fingers go tightly around his neck as you push him to the floor, pinning him under your knees. He struggles to escape but your grip is so strong he feels he’s already suffocating.

“You think you’re the first piece of shit trying to get to our children? You think we didn’t know what you are up to?” you pant through your clenched teeth, watching him squirm without being able to break free. He’s choking on his own saliva, fighting to escape when Kase’s punch lands with such ferocity Connor’s jaw cracks and he passes out instantly.

“Mom, let go. Mom! Let go, dad said he wants him for interrogation, more people might be involved.”

It’s hard for you not to snap Connor’s neck but you finally decide to release your hold.

The young man had no idea, but only Kase is at the Penthouse: his five siblings are at the hideout by the ocean, safe and sound. Your oldest had to stay behind, this way Connor wouldn’t be suspicious; the elaborated scheme to gain notoriety from murdering The Joker’s offsprings was bold and needed immediate attention. Unfortunately, not the first or the last trial.

“Dad said he took care of the crew waiting to kill us at the ski resort. We didn’t lose any men,” your son helps you up and you step over the limp body, cracking your shoulders.“Are you ok mom?”

“I’m fine, just stiff,” you faintly smile, stretching after not being able to move for an hour on that damned couch.

Not a lot of souls are aware you fully recovered after being in a very bad shape for almost a year. Just a few close to your inner circle know the truth: when it’s thought that The King of Gotham has a weakness, it’s even easier to manipulate things. Evie is actually the second daughter you and The Joker had together; J didn’t have her with another woman. Of course it’s assumed otherwise since everybody thinks you’re a vegetable.

There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for your kids; no sacrifice too great, always prepared to protect the six children belonging to you and the man that once asked his ex to take care of his babies because he didn’t trust another with the task.

A mother wouldn’t think twice before deciding this.


End file.
